"It is amazing how when God wants you to do something he always manages to find a way for you to do it. Even if it takes years. But maybe that is the point. Because I am not always ready to hear what he has to say to me.
In 2006 I went on a mission trip to Louisiana to help with hurricane Katrina clean up. On that trip I met an amazing woman by the name of Tara...she inspired me as few people have and to this day is still on my list of heroes. Her faith and devotion to God and to doing as he asked of her made a 16 year old me rethink a lot of how I planned my life. She recommended to me that I buy a book called "Under The Overpass by Mike Yankoski, about a collage student who lives on the street for a summer to find out what it was like to truly rely on God for everything. Of course when I got home I immediately ordered the book, but sadly like most mountain top mission trips end, I got back home and life distracted me. That book sat on my shelf for a couple of years. I put it off up until a few months ago I began to read a little each night. It was during one such reading session that I found God speaking directly to me through pages 98-99.
"When you get to the bottom-when getting rained on is a welcome solution to getting buried in the muck- there is a immense contentment in letting go of comfort. 'Don't worry about tomorrow.' Just be thankful for the now. Cozy up to that tree root. Let it rain." ~Mike Yankoski
I had just found out Chase was deploying again. Tears, hugs, long walks, or hot showers, non of there things were making me feel better. I sat on my bed and picked up my book, more out of habit when anything else. "DON'T WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW. JUST BE THANKFUL FOR THE NOW."
Jesus' principle from Matthew has never hit me harder.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.""
I wrote that first half of this blog post a few months ago. Tonight as I ran through a downpour of rain with my emotions choking the back of my throat I thought of it again. I found it saved to my laptop, something that at the time meant something to me but I wasn't ready to share. Why I feel the need to share it now I do not know. I do know though that I needed this reminder tonight. Maybe you did too.
There have been a few times in my life when I have felt God asking me what I was willing to give Him. If I was willing to give Him those that I held the most dear and the plans that I had made. He has asked me if I am willing to be faithful to Him in these things and reminded me that He is the one that provides, plans, and knows just what I need.
It doesn't seem fair sometimes. I made plans, I had ideas, I, I, I. But God didn't create this world for me. He created me for Himself. To praise, glorify, love, respect, fear, obey, and trust Him.
The rain is pouring down outside my window, but still I believe that my eyes could give the clouds a run for their money in the moisture creating department. The rain, and the tears, tonight though are different. Because with every drop that falls, I learn to let go.
Because "When you get to the bottom-when getting rained on is a welcome solution to getting buried in the muck- there is a immense contentment in letting go of comfort. 'Don't worry about tomorrow.' Just be thankful for the now. Cozy up to that tree root. Let it rain." ~Mike Yankoski
Thank you God for reminding me that you are the one who holds my today and my tomorrow in your hand. All of my plans might go array, but yours never will.
